"But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made . I'm staring at the mess I made. I'm staring at the mess I made. As you turn, you take your heart and walk away."- Parachute

Episode 20: "The Mess I Made" to listen the theme song please click here.
Written By: Kelly Zollo

Scene 1:1421 Firestone Cir., West Lake, NY

Riding always relaxed Vanessa and ever since her morning ride, she has been ecstatic about everything. She is finishing up her college application again, thankful that the dean is even letting her reapply. Most of the charges from the night of the accident have been dropped from her record minus the DUI. Since she has done time served, her record is now clean and she can start new.

Looking up at the clock she picks up her cell phone, debating about calling Brian to find out how his first interview went with the local morning show. Instead, she opts to let him call her, they are wanting to take things slow and her being nosey will hardly help. The knock on the front door of the house, makes her get up from the couch to open the front door. Only to find Jacob Donovan staring at her from the other side of the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Hey,” she manages to get out.

He had been sitting out in the driveway for about an hour before getting out of the car to tell Vanessa the news about Jessica. He isn’t sure that he can go through with it, it will hurt her and ruin any hope he may have had for them. He has always loved Vanessa Harvell and years later that hasn’t changed even now that she knows what he and Kate did. He can still see the pain in her eyes about everything that happened that night and it kills him.

Eventually he got the nerve to open up the door and get out of the car, looking up at the house as he played with the keys in his hand. Walking up the front steps to the door and knocking he is surprised at how quickly she answered. When she manages to speak, his mouth goes dry for a moment before looking down at the ground to compose himself, looking back up at her when he feels it is under control.

“Listen I have no illusions about me and you. I need to tell you something,’ Jake says pausing for a moment. ‘But, I wanted you to know that when I do picture myself happy it’s with you.”

Vanessa looks at him perplexed for a moment, he’s about a week or two late with his statement about wanting a future with her. She can feel her chest tighten for a moment looking away and then looking back at him. She had always wanted him to show up and fight for her prove to her that he wanted to be with her again and now it is to late.

"Don't do that okay? It's too late, it's fine."

She isn’t sure how she is going to break the news about her and Brian to him and really she isn’t sure if she owes him an explanation or not. They aren’t together and they haven’t been for years, they haven’t spoke or seen each other in weeks.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jake asks, suddenly feeling very out of place on her porch.

Vanessa doesn’t know how to tell him that she’s made a choice and she has chosen Brian. If he had shown up weeks ago or called her back weeks ago things would be different but they’re not. He can tell that that she is upset about him being there and he is already bracing himself for what he has to tell her. He had hoped being honest with her would ease how guilty has felt about ruining their life together.

“Listen, you haven’t called in weeks and I just couldn’t put my life on hold...,” Vanessa says, stopping when her cell phone rings and holding up her finger to answer it seeing it is her brother.

“Cade this really isn’t a good time. What? When?’ Vanessa asks, softly before looking around the house for her purse. ‘No, I’ll get a cab and get there when I can.”

Hanging up the phone to look at Jake again.

“I need to get to the hospital something is wrong with Kate,” she says her hands shaking.

Jake nods his head at her as she gets ready to call a cab, reaching over and taking her hand, “I’ll give you a ride.”

Scene 2: 574 Shoreline Dr. Apt. #8, West Lake, NY

Jessica has spent the entire morning going over her contact list and her father's looking for a doctor that would be willing to supply her with photos and a medical chart to no avail. Jake is going to want proof soon of her pregnancy and more than just a simple task of a piece of paper that was easy to doctor. Instead he is going to want ultrasound photos, blood test results and other information that she doesn’t have in play yet. She could claim a miscarriage but that would cause him to go running back to Vanessa and she simply cannot tolerate that. Getting up from the couch in the living room she nearly screams as she comes face to face with Ryan.

“Don’t you know how to knock?” she snaps.

Ryan shrugs his shoulders walking around the living room, picking up the piece of stuffed fabric that Jessica has been using to look pregnant. He still hasn’t gotten paid and he has been living in run down hotel after run down hotel to avoid the police. Something that he had hoped that she would have taken care of by now, instead it feels like more heat is on him than necessary. Word around town being that Paige confessed to a whole new round of evidence with Callie Morris while in prison.

“I thought you said that you would be on course with Jake by now.” Ryan asks.

“We’ve run into a complication. We need a doctor to forge the documents...,” Jessica begins only to be cut off.

“Tell me again why you just don’t miscarry and then go from there?” Ryan asks, annoyed.

“Because he’ll go running back to her, I belong with him we’re connected and eventually he will see that. You will get your money and then we can dismantle Donovan Industries from the inside out. Having a miscarriage will not help our cause in achieving that. You want to get back at them don’t you for firing your mother? For taking away your family?” she says.

Moving towards him to wrap her hands around the back of his neck, if he isn’t going to be involved in the plan she needs a back up. More so she needs him to be involved he is just as damaged as she is, he knows to much. She grew up with a saying keep your enemies close and your friends closer, that very much so applies to Ryan. She can feel him finally relax underneath her touch and inside she is screaming with joy, however she plays it coy on the outside to keep up the charade.

“I’m doing this for us, it has to be done Ryan you know that. We need a find a baby.”

Ryan barely has the time to blink at her looking like she has lost her damn mind, though it could work if he found the right baby. The black market was full of them, of course they would have to be careful and cover their tracks, if she were to get enough money they could buy one. She is already pushing her body to his, as his knees hit the back of the couch and he sits down with her on his lap, landing on the remote. His brother’s face comes on the screen for a recap on the news about his interview, her hands are already traveling down the buttons of his shirt.

“It’s risky.” Ryan whispers.

Still not sure what he is even doing with her to begin with, wondering why he has so much hatred inside of him for the man that raised him. Wondering why he agreed to blackmail Paige, her hands reach his belt buckle and he remembers all to well why he is doing it. He is doing it for her, because ever since he met her in California at private school he was drawn to her, no matter how bad for him she was.

“I’m sure you’ll manage to arrange something, you always do like you did with Hannah’s car. We get a baby and I just need to find the right doctor to arrange the medical files,” she whispers, tracing her fingers along his chest, his hands moving to her hips.

Her lips are pressed against his before he can retort an answer, she is already fighting with his zipper and his hands are reaching for the hem of her top. The news flashes to a picture of him they have obtained and he closes his eyes to block it out. No matter what he does he knows he is screwed and all for the love of Jessica Robins.

Scene 3: West Lake Memorial Hospital; West Lake, NY

Cade had gotten the call about Kate in the middle of a meeting and he put aside his feelings on the matter about her having Austin's baby to take the drive down to the hospital, calling his sister to let her know what was going on. Shane sounded frantic on the phone about her condition and no matter what he wanted the baby to be born healthy. Arriving at the chaos that is the hospital brings back memories of a similar time he was rushing through the doors to see his sister and Hannah.

“Female age 22, head lacerations to the back of her skull. Signs of having alcohol in her system. Possible severe head trauma and internal bleeding.” The paramedics says, looking over at the doctor.

Cade is frozen in place, comforting his mother as they wheel his sister through the doors of the emergency room spouting off instructions about her condition. He feels his body go even more numb when they wheel in Hannah, her body is white and her lips are blue and he can feel his knees begin to shake.

“Female, age 22, unconscious and not breathing. Administered CPR in the bus, victim is still unresponsive. She’s been under the water for a good ten minutes according to witnesses.”

“Thank God, you are here.” Helen says, wrapping her arms around him as he stares down the hqallway reliving the memory.

“I came as fast as I could after I got the call, how is she?” Cade asks, trying to focus on Helen.

He can’t hear her as he spouts off that Kate is in good condition some minor cramping occurred due to the stress with the baby. The doctor is wanting to keep her for observation for the night, instead he looks down the hallway as another set of memories comes back to him. He can almost swear that he sees a bright head of red hair in a white summer dress down the hallway, as he closes his eyes.

“Garrett, Sharon surgery went well. We were able to get her stitched up in time, she has some swelling around her brain stem. We went ahead and ran a full blood panel.” Helen says, approaching the Harvell family after three hours of surgery.

“Can we see her?” Sharon pleads, Helen knows the next set of news will be nothing spectacular for them.

“One at a time, the swelling could have done some serious damage to her brain, of course we won’t know the full extent until she is awake. Even, then the full extent of the injuries may not be known until later down the road. Head injuries are always hard to diagnose.” Helen says, quietly.

Garrett looks at her for a moment, nodding his head as he leads Sharon into his daughter’s room. He is still holding Callie, as Jacob Donovan runs down the hallway towards them and according to Cade he has nerve even showing his face.

“How are they?” Jake manages to get out, before Cade can respond one of the doctors on the floor wheels out Hannah’s body from surgery.

“Time of death two fifty-eight am.”

He doesn’t even realize that he is backing away from Helen, suddenly realizing that it is too much for him to be here. It is too much for him to pretend to be the father of Kate’s baby, bumping past Liz and Austin on his way out of the doors. Wondering if he is going crazy like his mother did, instead he pulls out his phone to call Brian and ask him to come be with his sister when she arrives, knowing he cannot stay.

Scene 4: West Lake Memorial Hospital; West Lake, NY

Austin had agreed to go to the hospital to drop off Liz for her counseling session, after their talk since she returned home things are looking up for them. She is opening up increasingly about herself to him and about what happened. She still sleeps in the guest room and has been working on some contracts for Cade from the house slowly moving back into the swing of things. On the other hand he hasn’t seen or spoken to Kate in weeks and he is certain now that it is for the best.

He moves himself and Liz out of the way as Cade storms out of the hospital doors and he is greeted with chaos. Peter is over talking to Helen and Shane. Shane is sitting in the chair in the lobby looking like hell. His eyes scan the lobby for Kate, Liz holding his hand in the mist of the madness.

“I’m going to go let them know I’m here I’ll be right back. Is everything all right?” Liz asks, waiting till he nods his head before she disappears to the receptionist desk.

Once his wife is gone Austin makes his way over to Helen and Shane, curious what is going on and why they both look so upset.

“Hey, is there anything I can do?” Austin asks, placing his hand on Shane’s shoulder.

Shane is surprised to see his sister’s ex at the hospital, he is a bit out of sorts after seeing Cade retreat out of the hospital. Leading him to wonder if something else is going on with his sister and Cade, especially now that a baby is involved. He leans over to hug his mother for a moment, before getting up from the chair and looking at Austin.

“Kate was admitted. I appreciate you coming by to see how we are Austin I know how much my sister means to you.” Shane offers.

Austin looks at him a tad bit confused why Kate would have to be admitted first, when the talked last she seemed fine, “What do you mean admitted?”

Shane looks at the ground for a moment unsure if he should tell Austin the new or not deciding that he was going to find out eventually.

“Kate’s pregnant.” Shane finally says.

“Pregnant?” Austin asks bewildered.

Liz went ahead and checked in at the front desk before stopping to talk to a few of the nurses who had taken care of her during her stay. Wanting them to know that she appreciated their dedication and that she was thankful for their care. When she rounds the corner to see her husband talking to Shane she tires her best not to let jealousy get the best of her. She takes a moment to calm herself down for a bit before making her way towards Austin stopping when she sees Pete going over some charts.

“Hey.” Liz says.

Pete looks up at her when she approaches and offers her a grin in return.

“Hello dear sister, and what do I owe the pleasure. You’re not sick are you or dying or anything are you?”

Liz has to smile at her brother’s dry sense of humor before shaking her head no at him, “No unfortunately you’re stuck with me a bit longer. What’s going on?”

Peter knows that he knows better than to answer her question but he doesn’t see the harm in telling her what she is bound to find out.

“Kate is having some complications with her pregnancy, it’s nothing major.”

Kate looks at him perplexed for a moment before looking back over at the sight of her husband comforting Helen in the lobby. Suddenly, getting very awkward with the situation Kate is her friend, it just rubs her the wrong way with how attentive her husband is. Looking around the room for a bit again she has to wonder if something else is going on with Austin and Kate, did they get close while she was in rehab.

“Earth to Liz.” Peter’s voice interjects her thoughts.

“I’m going to be late for my session, I’ll catch up with you later.” Liz replies, offering him a smile before disappearing down the hallway.

Out of the corner of his eye Austin looks over at Liz talking to Pete and then back at Kate’s room wondering, if his wife now knows about him possibly having a baby with Kate.

Scene 5: West Lake County Jail; West Lake, NY

After making sure that his sister was sleeping comfortably at the hospital and that she was out of the woods Shane made the drive down to the county jail. He waits impatiently behind the glass as the guard leads Paige out and he picks up the phone to talk to her. Paige’s day instantly brightens as she sees Shane sitting across from her on the other side of the glass, he has been visiting her every week since she has been behind bars. Spending the time talking to each other, all the things they should have done when they began seeing each other the first time.

“Hey.” Paige offers.

Shane is quiet for a moment, unsure of how he is going to tell her the news, telling his mother and Kate was hard enough. Telling her however, will be life changing to the point where he isn’t sure he can go through with it. He takes a few breaths to calm down and then look up at her bracing himself.

“Hey I wanted to see you. Kate’s in the hospital,” he begins.

Instantly worry takes over with her.

“Is she all right?”

Shane nods his head, fighting back the tears that have sprung behind his eyes.

“She and the baby are fine, they stabilized her. I was meeting her and my mom I had something really important that I had to tell them. Something I need to tell you, you have to promise that you’re not going to freak out about it,” he says, quietly.

She is certain that she has never seen Shane Porter this vulnerable with anyone, let alone her. His voice is quiet, near shaking his fingers are gripping the phone to the point where his knuckles are white. The tears though are what get her and she can already since an eerie feeling over coming her.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m sick,” he says quietly.

“So take some cold meds, your a doctor,’ Paige replies, stopping when she sees that his demeanor doesn’t change, ‘What do you mean sick?”

“I have leukemia.”

The words hits her like a ton of bricks as she begins to process the information that he has just given her. Leukemia, cancer, death, treatments if he is lucky, limited time with her. She shakes her head no at him, not wanting to believe it and when he doesn’t do anything to retort it she can feel the tears slip out of the corners of her eyes.

“I talked to Dr. Larkin, he’s going to treat me I go in to begin treatment in a few weeks.”

“So you’re going to leave me? Abandon me after everything we have went through.” Paige asks, in between the tears.

Shane shakes his head no at her, placing his free hand against the glass, waiting for a moment as she reaches her own trembling hand out to his.

“No, I’m going to live life to my fullest and as long as I can with you by my side. I was thinking that when they let you out on bail, we go down to the courthouse make it official.” Shane says, hoping his proposal is met with a warm welcome from her.

For the first time in their relationship she isn’t sure how they got there, with him proposing to her while she stares back at him in ugly prison garb. It’s not a traditional proposal by any means there is no ring, hell he isn’t even allowed to touch her. Between all of that though she can’t help but nod her head at him through the glass.

Scene 6: West Lake Memorial Hospital; West Lake, NY

Vanessa isn’t sure what was so awkward about the car ride to the hospital other than they both didn’t speak to each other. She is half expecting Jake to just figure it out so she doesn’t have to be the one to tell him about her and Brian. It would take the pressure of off of her and maybe ease the guilt that she is feeling over it all. However, she knows the news will crush him and walking into the hospital it is the last thing she is thinking about.

She looks around the waiting room for her brother surprised that he is not there after calling her to inform her of the situation. She can’t blame him the baby is not his and by default Kate is not his responsibility.

“I’m here to check on a friend Kate Porter,” she says to the receptionist.

“Are you family?” The young blond girl replies snapping her gum.

She shakes her head no and then the girl looks at her again, “I can’t release that information to you unless you are family. I am sorry.”

Jake watches the exchange after following her inside the hospital still unsure on how he is going to break the news about the pregnancy to her. He has gone over all the options in his head and neither of them have a happy outcome. If she doesn’t fully despise or hate him now, she will be the time the words pregnant and Jessica are in the same sentence. He is about to take up for her with the receptionist when he spots Jessica making her way towards them in the hospital and he curses.

“Hey, I just got done with my appointment. Everything is going great with the baby.” Jessica says, ignoring Vanessa on purpose as she approaches them.

The words baby catch Vanessa’s attention as she turns to look at Jake and Jessica, taking her eyes off of the receptionist. Ultimately deciding that she is hard of hearing or has just gone mad. Her eyes settle on the forming bump of Jessica’s top and she isn’t even sure why her hands are shaking.

The last thing that he had wanted was for her to find out about Jessica and the baby was from someone else. It is done now and he studies her reaction, shooting Jessica a glare this was not what they had agreed on. He thinks about reaching out for her, deciding against it as he sees the tears form and her hands shake.

“Vanessa...,” he begins only to stop halfway when she looks at him and glares.

Seeing the desired result of her intrusion Jessica casts him a glance, before moving aside and purposely giving her rival the sweetest smile possible. Knowing the damage is in place and she can return home, open up a bottle of wine and celebrate.

“I was going to tell you. That's what I came over to talk to you about.”

Vanessa doesn’t know why she is so bothered by the news she and Jake aren’t together, they haven’t been for years. She is seeing Brian, she is committed to Brian, yet it stings and it bothers her. She hears his apology and nearly has to laugh, instead she refrains trying to be the bigger person.

“This doesn’t change anything about how I feel for you. I know I screwed up the night of the accident and afterwards. Even now I know I screwed up just please, say something.” Jake pleads, hoping to get a reaction any reaction out of her.

Looking at him tears in her eyes, as she sees Brian enter the waiting room she manages to plaster on a smile.

“I have to go.”

Leaving it at that she makes her way past him, walking towards Brian tears brimming her eyes and willing herself not to cry. Brian isn’t sure why she is upset after getting the phone call from Cade letting him know that she may need him at the hospital. Nor does he ask, wrapping his arms around her when she finally reaches him. Jake fights back the tears that spring to his eyes at her rejection, watching her as she walks away from him and down the hallway towards Brian. Wondering if she was going to tell him that she had moved on with Brian. Unable to take the sight he makes his way out of the hospital the tears finally coming out.

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